I'm not allowing my thoughts to become a great whirlygig. I've been copping out; haven't been true to myself. I need to stop thinking, period, and just keep writing. I don't need to think to write it. I need to think to revise the drafts when they are accepted.
After a nice chat discussion with an unknown gamer, ha, and reading over my blog entries thus afar, I am not focusing on the big picture. I am learning from the poor experiences I have had; just because I hate my "diss" topic doesn't mean it "sucks," and just because I only tend to feel a need to become social when I need to be doing other things alone--an introvert who becomes an extrovert when she isn't getting to do what she WANTS when she's alone. Man, what a selfish flake! I pity my soul in it's next incarnation if I have children. They will hate that person for not growing up... and my whole life people have been telling me I'm an old soul-- the irony. But then again, maybe that's the old soul's lesson-- don't grow up?
I've once again thought myself 'round to the conclusion that women over-think more commonly than men. If you've read my blog entries, did you notice? I'm not whining about saving the whales I'm essentially complaining; that can't be good. Somewhere down there I said I wasn't one to complain, but you know, maybe it is just the isolation. At least I'm writing instead of talking to myself, or am I? heheheheh. Add a touch of OCD and situational anxiety (even kind of existentially speaking in regard to the Situationists) into the mix and you've got one heaving, quivering, dysfunctional mass of pointless and narcissistic subjectivity. I'm going to end this thought there... leave it... embrace it...
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